How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
