New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize