Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize