Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
