drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
