I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
