Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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