Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
