i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
