corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
