I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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