What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
