Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
