dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize