Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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