You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize