You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she told me i tasted like america
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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