I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
