I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
