dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
