Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
