Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
