i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
