That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize