Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
