you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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