Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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