im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
