So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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