I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just found puke in my bra..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
