I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
