I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
