apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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