Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
