Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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