names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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