Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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