its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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