so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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