In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize