I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
