Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
