But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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