Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
