He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize