peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
