I bet he comes in French.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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