You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize