i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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