Quick, to the slutcave!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
