suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
