Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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