Barsexuality is the new black.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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