I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You dont lie about slip and slides
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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