the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
