PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
