I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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