Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
