She is in my trunk
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
