Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
