roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
