Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
