NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
